I’m taking my husband to the airport in two hours. I am a wreck. I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop crying. Why does it have to be this damn difficult? I look at the now empty space in the closet that was once filled with my husband’s junk, and I sit in bed as I watch him move everything that was us into his suitcase, and it hurts. The loneliness hurts like hell.

I know I should rejoice and be glad, for this is a wonderful beginning of something greater and bigger - something that Felix and I have dreamt and wanted for our family. And yes, I shouldn’t even doubt about the plans made for me. Especially for me. But tomorrow I will come home from tutoring without my husband sitting on the computer, waiting for me. Tomorrow night I will sleep in our bed, alone. And I will be doing the same thing night after night. And every morning, for the next six months or so, I will wake up without him by my side. No hugs, no cuddles, no kisses, no Felix, nothing. I can’t emphasize enough how fucking difficult this is for me.

So tell me, how do I do this?