Thur September 15, 2005
What Could Have Been...
...Sunday I had the chance to look at this place. A really nice, newly built, two-storey apartment.
I already claimed it ours. It was all I could think of the entire day. Found out the next morning that the end unit was still available. Felix and I discussed our preference, and decided for our convenience, to take the end unit. Come Monday night, I got a hold of the contract and requested if I could see the end unit the following day. In the mean time, I reviewed the contract and revised a couple of items. Tuesday late afternoon, I met with the agent, and inspected the end unit. With imagination running wild, it already felt like ours. And then met I the landlord.
I was so close to signing the contract. But for some reason, when I arrived home after meeting the landlord, it just dawned on me, it's not for us. What started to seem like the perfect place turned out to have more cons than pros in the end. Surprisingly. With the landlord being the biggest and faggiest factor of them all. No change of locks, no installation of water heater. No alterations. Period. Did he even want his place rented or what?
So did I sign the contract? Nope. Sure the place was nice and all. It was everything I ever imagined my first apartment to be. But I wasn't at peace. And this nagging voice at the back of my head just got louder and louder the moment I met the landlord.
I believe that I will find the perfect place for my new family. Good things come to those who wait. No regrets. Pure relief.
In other news, happy 10th year of motherhood to me. Momma loves you, Nate. Happy birthday!
Thur September 8, 2005
Only The Strong Will Survive...
...On to the last leg of my degree. Oh, yes.
Anyway, my dad seems to have warmed up to the idea of me getting married. The other night he offered sharing a place, which is sweet of him. Felix and I talked about it, and I personally don't feel comfortable with the idea. Turns out my mom feels the same way. Felix, most especially.
The house-hunting is slowly turning out to be more difficult than I imagined. Budget, location, access to public transportation, security, water supply, blah, blah, and blah. Sigh.
I should start gathering my documents for the wedding. I am excited, but nervous. I am going to be a grown-up. OMG.
A new layout is on its way. Stay tuned for it.
Thur September 1, 2005
It Will Be, You'll See...
...I'll light the fire. You place the flowers in the vase that you bought today. Staring at the fire
for hours and hours, while I listen to you play your love songs all night long for me. Only for me.
Come to me now, and rest your head for just five minutes, everything is done. Such a cozy room, the windows are illuminated by the evening sunshine through them, fiery gems for you. Only for you.
Our house is a very, very, very fine house, with two cats in the yard. Life used to be so hard. Now everything is easy cuz of you.
Lalala.
[Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young]
Anyone knows who did the recent remake?
Mon August 22, 2005
I Should Be Doing Something Else...
...An hour and a half later, I still haven't typed more than a three-sentence paragraph for my review of related literature.
Hold that thought, I've been wanting to post these...
One of these pairs is not like the others.
My first purchase for our new place.
Anyway.
Yesterday was my birthday celebration with the family, minus Felix. Chinese food. My request. Birthday noodles, lemon chicken, sweet and sour pork, yang chow rice, beef and broccoli, dimsum platter, steamed eggplant and minced pork, and steamed fish with garlic, to my stomach's content. I know you're jealous.
Come dinner, I finally gathered enough courage to have that dialogue with my dad. Talks here and there over meals the past weeks have preempted good intentions already. It was needed. So, after the table was cleared, I laid down my cards.
I am getting married.
It didn't seem to register in my dad's rational mind. After a series of "I know better" statements, I just had to make him realize.
Let me go, dad. I am 28 years old, let me grow up.
He asked for time to digest all this. As you wish, dad.
Why am I even updating now? It's past my bedtime, what the hell happened to 9 and 10 o'clock? So much for progress with my paper.
Sat August 20, 2005
Homestretch...
...Down to my last stressful week, at least for this term. Then on to my last whew term. My MA degree, at long last. My god, you don't know how relieved and happy I am to finally get this thing over and done with. Two years just felt like forever. Finishing the degree just doesn't have the same appeal to me as it did when I first began with the program. Earnest attempt. Nowhere else to go but finish line. Just that the heart is no longer there. Sadly, I admit. But I still can't wait.
Motherhood has become my number one enemy. And, and, for your information, I know nobody said it was easy, but nobody also said it was going to be THIS damn difficult. Well, it never said in MY brochure. I demand for a rebate.
My mouse is being the faggy, and so is my head.
I don't understand why sleep has become such a privilege. Is there an indirect proportion to age and the number of hours of sleep one may have? It seems like the older you get, the less number of hours of sleep you are entitled to. Or like, the older you get, the more precious sleep becomes. Makes sense.
OMFG I AM SO IN LOVE.
Thur August 18, 2005
FAQs...
So, how old are you?
I'm now 28 years old.
What did you do on your birthday?
I went to work. And when I got home, I stayed on the computer to talk to my boyfriend. I also met up with my friend, Gittel. We had pasta and cake. Dinner was at home, with my family.
What gifts did you get?
None. Oh wait, there were the cards from my mom, my boyfriend, and my son. I also had my cake, and I ate it too.
How does it feel to be a year older?
*blink*
What did you wish for on your birthday?
World peace.
Wed August 10, 2005
Do Or Die...
...Aside from the paper, there's the finals in Program Evaluation tomorrow. Sunday is *gulp* licensure examination. And a week after, it's proposal presentation. Then there are the school checklists which are due on the 19th, and the not-so-demanding-but-important-nevertheless lesson planning. On top of all those mentioned, I'm preparing reviewers for my son's mastery tests. I am gagging from stress, spewing doesn't help anymore. Will someone clone me please, k thanks.
Did I mention I'm turning 28 in less than a week? Yeah. Don't forget my gift. Take note, no gift, no entry.
I can't wait for this month to end. And when that happens, two months to go. Wow. On with the better things in life. It's fine time I had my turn. I'll say.
Oh, and in case I don't pass my licensure examination, let's all be nice and pretend I never took it. Deal? Deal.
Wed August 3, 2005
Yesterday, Once More...
...Mean and hurtful.
Total hate.
Sat July 30, 2005
Sigh...
I love how your eyes close, whenever you kiss me.
And when I'm away from you, I love how you miss me.
I love the way you always treat me tenderly.
But darling most of all, I love how you love me.
I love how your heart beats whenever I hold you.
I love how you think of me without being told to.
I love the way your touch is always heavenly.
But darling most of all, I love how you love me.
I love how you hug me.
I love how you squeeze me.
Tease me.
Please me.
Love how you love me.
I love how you love me.
Sat July 23, 2005
Of Finding Problems For Readily Available Solutions...
...Each time I'm in my Saturday class, I get so anxious. That same anxious feeling while you wait for pregnancy test result. If you know what I mean. The details of the requirements for my proposal are still vague, worse, they are ever evolving. Last week the department gave us a format, and just this morning, the class received, yet, a new departmentalized format for the action research. I want to file for a grievance against the program (and the inefficient people behind it), but I can't be bothered. I already have too much on my plate. Proposal's due a couple of weeks from now, and I still don't have an action research topic. I'm getting sick of all this already.
And then last night...
"When are you getting married?" my mom asked.
"November," I replied.
"What about your degree?"
"What about it?"
Yeah, what about it?
Ugh. I need to finish my degree by December. Rather, I need to focus so I can finish my degree by December. Blah.
I have a knack for overwhelming myself with details. Minute, trivial details. I find purpose in life that way. And you know what? I am really excited.
